The holidays are fast approaching. Through the miracle of the internet I have finished my Christmas shopping already and am now in the blissful period of waiting for the packages to arrive and avoiding eye contact with my postal carrier )that probably has a hernia and rues the day I was born). Sorry, lady. Consider my online shopping habits your key to job security. You’re welcome.
The main problem I have with Christmas is the present wrapping. Why is this a thing? And why do people make it so complicated? We are taking thoughtful, expensive gifts and literally covering them in garbage. We go to the stores to find the prettiest trash they sell, give away our hard earned money for rolls of the stuff and then some people take it to the next level with ribbon and bows that will also be discarded in a heap. We purchase rolls of rubbish, spend time and energy coating our purchases in said detritus and then have the job of cleaning it all up after the frenzy of Christmas morning. We are literally buying garbage and chores — two things a sane person tries to eliminate, not accumulate.
I know what you are thinking — why not use gift bags and stop complaining? (OK, you may just be thinking about the complaining part, but you’ve made it this far, so you may as well keep reading). These are even more expensive and usually wind up in the same landfill or burn pile as the paper. Everyone has the intention of reusing gift bags but how many of us actually do? We save them until they are lost, or stumble across them in August while trying to find birthday appropriate trash paper in the closet and have a momentary fantasy of handing over the gift swathed in a bag emblazoned with a snowman on a 100 degree day.
I grumble about this every year, yet continue to follow the status quo and swaddle my gifts in soon-to-be-debris. This year won’t be any different. I will gather all my tools, listen to an audio book and wrap the crap so it can be pretty under the tree leading up to the glorious gluttony of the holiday. And so will you. But this year, after reading this, while you are sitting on the floor with scissors and trying to wrap a round object with flat square paper, you are going to get frustrated and this little written rant will worm into your brain and you will think of me for just a moment. And that will be my contribution to your festivities.
Merry Christmas and Happy Littering!